Inspirational Islander: Marney Toole
On the eve of this past Mother's Day, Paula Peters sat in the Capawock Theater of Vineyard Haven, attending the premiere of Taylor Toole's movie, ‘Mow Crew.' As Paula marveled at the incredible accomplishment of this young writer-director-musician, she thought to herself, “How could such a young man produce such an amazing feat? “ The answer was clear to her. His mother is, Marney Toole.
Paula sat in quiet support for this wonderful movie enjoying the story and music, but her decision to attend the Premiere came from a deeper place. Paula thought back 10 years to the birth of her triplets, who arrived prematurely as most multiples do. She recalled the feelings of uncertainty that filled her at that vulnerable time in her life and remembered thinking, “How will I cope with the challenges of being a first time Mom to three newborns?”
Marney Toole, the Island's Early Intervention Representative, whose job it was to assist at risk children from birth to age three, providing care and education to the entire family, entered the Peter's family just as great director in a movie.
“She came in with this calm presence, helping with everything from feedings and changings to the children's developmental progress,” Paula recalls. “I was so effected by her demeanor, it was contagious. I remember, when all three of the kids were sick at once, she arrived for her weekly visit, and my children continued to spit up on her, but it didn't phase Marney. Even during our ‘Terrible Twos' stage she was the calm within the storm. She never complained, in the three years that she was in our lives. I never once felt like she was coming to do a job, it was more like her calling.”
“Marney inspired me to want to be that type of mother. She made learning fun for my children, but never once told me what to do. She modeled the techniques for me and I saw first hand how my children were growing and responding. Marney, was a silent example for me to follow. I grasped on to that and 10 years later still haven't let go,” Paula confides.
Marney's own family roots reach deep into the state of Minnesota. The oldest of 5 siblings and the only girl, probably aided in molding her caring nature. Frequent tours, as a young girl of their Minnesota hospital, lead by her paternal Grandmother, also deeply imprinted her.
By age fifteen, in the early 60's, Marney found herself attending a Rhode Island high school, during which time she often tutored in the poor neighborhoods of Providence. While attending high school she met her husband Richard Toole. After graduating from Colby Junior College, Marney got accepted into medical school, but chose a path of nursing instead. As a result, 1969-72, were spent at the prestigious and competitive Children's Hospital School of Nursing in Boston, Massachusetts. During Marney's senior year, she was selected to head the nursing staff on the floor of her choice. Marney chose the Jimmy Fund/Oncology Floor, where children came who were battling cancer.
“Witnessing the courage, strength, and beauty that children shared with their families before their lives ended, was remarkable. Of course, there was a lot of sadness and loss, but to be there during those times to do my part, was a privilege. When you come into the life of a child you connect with an entire family. During my studies at Children's Hospital, I witnessed several miracles at the tender age of twenty-three. It was the most amazing experience of my life,” Marney shares.
Fresh out of medical school, she married her high school love, Richard. It was also the need for care that brought Marney to Martha's Vineyard, but this time it was Richard's grandmother's campground cottage that needed the TLC. While her husband Richard worked as a carpenter, Marney worked as a general nurse for many years at the Island's old hospital, where alongside Evie O'Donnell, and Martha Post, she founded the Child Birth classes still being taught there today.
Marney knew she wanted to focus her work more directly on children and young families so, the Early Intervention position seemed a perfect fit. It was during those years that she connected with the Peters family.
Today, Marney is the Family Network Programs Coordinator one of the many programs she runs is the Waiting Families Adoption Group. Her daughter Chelsea, and son-in-law Ryan, chose adoption as the means in which to grow their family. Two years ago, to Marney's delight, they welcomed Taylor home, who was named after Chelsea's brother.
Waking up on this past Mother's Day, Paula Peters recalled the wonderful movie she attended the night before and began thinking how proud Marney must be of her son on this day. "What an incredible Mother's Day gift," thought Paula. She began to reflect on how deeply inspired she was by all the priceless gifts Marney had given to her as a young mother. She picked up the phone and called Marney. Although, they hadn't really connected in years, the conversation graciously flowed between the two mothers on that special day. Mutual adoration abounded and the conversation of course included Marney's signature question, “So, how are YOU doing?”
Marney explains, “My inspiration in life comes from the children and families themselves. I am amazed how people meet the different challenges, both great and small, in their lives. I feel like I am the taker, not the giver in what I do. I am fortunate to experience all that I do in my life. These are the important experiences that make us all better human beings.”
If you have a child or know someone who has a child on Martha's Vineyard, you have been touched either directly or indirectly by the caring hand of Marney Toole. Like a director standing behind the camera inspiring the best from her actors; Marney's wisdom, calm demeanor, and caring support, stand behind every family on Martha's Vineyard.
To learn more about the wonderful programs available at The Family Network visit their website www.mvcommunityservices.com . To contact Marney directly call (508)-693-7900 ext. 283 or by email MToole216@Hotmail.com.
Which Islander inspires you? We would love to hear your story. Submit your own “Inspirational Islander” story for consideration in our next issue. Send your stories to; editor@islandinspirationmag.com