This, Too, Shall Pass
On June 4, 1965, I had a younger brother, my only sibling. I had loved growing up with him for twenty-two years. One day later, June 5, I no longer had my brother, Gene. A car crash took his life.
While helping with funeral arrangements, I went through his personal items to include in his casket. His wallet contained a triangular brass medal resembling a dog tag. On it was inscribed “This, Too, Shall Pass.”
What could it mean? I asked mourning relatives if they knew. My Aunt Ruth recognized it, saying Gene found it in the woods months earlier. He was curious to its meaning and showed it to her. They planned to further investigate its origin but he put it back in his wallet. Life got in the way and it was forgotten.
Within hours, we determined it was both biblical and the title of a poem. The poem's theme said, “Don't worry about me. I'm doing fine. Whatever you are going through right now will pass.” Gene was speaking to us! Instinctively, I knew this phrase would be my cornerstone for life. Because of it, my brother would forever be with me.
I continued to gather significant objects for Gene's coffin. But, once he was buried, I regretted placing certain items with him. No one could ever appreciate their significance.
In my personal life and teaching career, I had many occasions to apply the inspirational message “This, Too, Shall Pass.” It also taught me patience and gratitude. The phrase brought appreciation to any event, be it positive or negative. I told my students that although life might be going great for them at any given time, events could change. Bad times and good times follow each other forever. Life is a series of such events and we should never attach too much weight to any one of them. Just be grateful for the good moments, bear with the bad ones and know that change is coming. That's life. To be sure, the good feelings you have now can come in very handy to balance the catastrophes which will enter your life. On the other hand, the reverse also applies.
Several years ago, our high school hockey team won a state title. I asked a group of them if they loved the feeling. They did.
I suggested, “Look around the locker room, check the time, see who is beside you and take a mental picture of me. I want you to preserve this happy moment in your young lives. These happy times will someday fade and become blurred. But, down the line, you are going to experience some horrible and “unfair” events. Clearly, one of your coping skills could be your recall of this joyous moment. Other moments will appear --- some good, some bad. Furthermore, they will keep showing up like uninvited guests.
“As significant as these events will be, understand your life will not be all good or nor will it be all bad. Good things have happened to you and this state title was one of them. Bad things happen to all of us but remember that life has a rhythm. It's like the tides on our island. The tides comes in; the tides goes out.
“To a great extent, how you handle your bad events determine how your life will play out. Some people fold up their hand when dealt bad cards. Others play out their hand or hope to improve that hand with hopes of still winning the game. Clearly, we all get bad hands in this card game of life but we can still win. Those who fold have forgotten the rhythm, the cycle of good and bad. They forget both good and bad things happen to everyone and that we all must await our turn.”
These lessons were used many times in my teaching and coaching careers when I felt my students might have needed my time and words. I often wished I had that brass medallion to illustrate that beyond-the-grave message reminding us that “This, Too, Shall Pass.”
Twenty six years later, after we buried my brother, my dad crossed over to the other side. At his wake, my Aunt Ruth asked to see me alone. Finding the space and moment, she gave me a small box. I opened it up and saw an unbelievable sight, a brass medal with the inscription, “This, Too, Shall Pass.” It had to have been a copy of the one I buried with Gene. She said it was not and that it was the original! Amidst the emotional turmoil, I thought it went in the coffin with the other items but I was wrong.
She told me it had been on her charm bracelet all those years. Aunt Ruth assured me it was mine to keep. What joy in the middle of sadness! My tears flowed harder than when I lost my beloved father. I put it around my neck and have worn it since.
Since then, when situations arose, both in my personal or teaching lives, I could enhance great teachable moments with that brass triangle. I reach down my neck, tug on the lanyard and up it comes. It arrives out of nowhere and we can discuss “things that pass.”
They are the four most inspirational words in my life. They inspired me; they have certainly inspired others. The story, the message, and the results are each critical to my state of ongoing optimism. With practiced application, they can be of immeasurable help to anyone. Although I will always miss my brother, his words and his message helped make the life I am grateful for.
Whether it's doing taxes, waiting at a four-way stop sign or at the end of a crowded checkout counter line, the phrase works. Conversely, whether we are spending a tax refund, beginning our turn to go at a four-way stop sign, or reaching the front of a check-out line --- it's all temporary. Appreciate the moment and call to mind these four simple words, “This, Too, Shall Pass.”
Jay Schofield, is a retired teacher and coach from Martha's Vineyard Regional High School, and provides a successful biography service named Memoirs Matter, www.Memoirs-Matters.com. Along with biographies, he has written a total of eighteen books including topics on coaching basketball and metal detecting. Jay can be reached at home at 508-693-2957 or by cell 508-889-1974
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